Recently I’ve been asked for the third or fourth time to be interviewed by some of our colleagues that are part of the Communication training and to talk about communication. A lot of the questions asked were in the area of what is good and what is bad during communication and the topic is incredibly large and out of my hands, but I thought that maybe I could start a series of posts on this topic. I am thinking of posting communication related issues that happen to me or I interact with on a daily basis, maybe it is of help to somebody. Shoot me a comment or an email if it helps, also if it doesn’t.
Today I had in chronological order two events that were interesting on this topic.
First: A colleague came to me to ask for an advice on a particular situation. She started to tell me what she wants to do because she has a problem and ask if it is good or bad. There was a lot of detailed and contextual information that in that particular case I thought it was only polluting the communication and was deviating us from what was the problem. So, after she talked and talked I said let’s pause and let me summarise what I understood. When we tried to summarize, as if we did not know anything about the subject and tried to put an introduction into the context and a briefing of the problem; the problem started to sound a bit different and also the cure for it. The answer was right there on the table and it was actually very simple; it seemed only complicated due to the unstructured communication.
So, then I say: when having a problem and wanting to discuss about it: think about it first, take a deep breath and think how to explain it and try to approach the topic as simple and structured as possible.
Second: Last week I had a talk with my boss and we discussed a lot of things, most of them about perceptions and feelings. He said some things, I said some things, we went both home and one or two things circled my head and I thought about what could they mean and what he wanted to say by them. Several hypotheses came on, but my silly brain was following the negative ones, so I’ve slapped myself and said I will ask him instead of fantasising. Today we’ve met and I asked for clarifications and examples, only to find out it was a misunderstanding: not of what he said, but of what he meant.
So another hint of the day: when something is not clear, go back and clarify it with that person. Do not let a lot of time to pass between these actions, as your brain will daily get more and more convinced on the hypothesis he wants ( and that usually is the one in which you are a victim).
Tadam.. And the day ends is perfect peace 😉