One of the hardest things for me so far is the art of making friends and keeping them. And I think it is an art or some sort of weird science that I cannot get a grasp on. I get enthusiastic, then I get excited, then I get my hopes too high and then I get disappointed and loose interest. So approaching new people with friendship thoughts is harder than finding a husband for me.
I was thinking today that if as a student it was hard for me to get friends and stick with them; as an adult it is even harder. Think about it: half of day is in office and the other half is at home with husband and child. So the most probable place to make friends is at work, but then it gets sooooo complicated.
Looking for friends, when you are part of a family, restricts a lot the pool of choices: the possible candidate should have at least a family and if they have kids it’s better and more than this: the choice of single dating is not feasible, this is a family affair. How do you proceed next? Because you must set up some kind of date between your half and the candidate and they must also like each other. If they do not click then not only you cannot go further, but also there can be a damage on the work relation.
Told ya, for me is a science! Maybe it is very easy and only for me is complicated, I am not sure as I was never good at this.
The purpose of my writing was not to complain about my incapability of making friends,it just popped in my mind as a natural flow of thought. I heard today a question asked to somebody else: “Why do you say that you are friends with X? Do you visit each other?”.
I started thinking then of my few friends and how I know they are my friends and here it is:
– We can have months of pause in seeing eachother but when we meet we just take it from where we left it
– We are not ashamed to say: Not today.
– They know upfront what to buy me for my birthday.
– They would listen to me complain and not propose solutions.
– They would lend me money.
– I can leave them the apartment’s key when going in holiday to water my plants (aka my 30 beloved kids).
– I would go with them in holiday and not hate them afterwards.
– They know I always forget things, so they do not mind when I say: ‘You did not tell me that!’.
……. I think there are more, but they do not pop into my mind right now.
Going back from this portrait to finding friends: This is a damn complicated job, I am not sure who would want to apply for it and also I am not sure if you look at all your requests what is the point where you can start to call each other “friends”. Your list might be quite different than theirs 😉