The need to be important

Last week my mum was telling me about a childhood friend that stays in Bucharest, has a great job, wins a lot of money and looks fabulous. I purely hated that girl during the conversation and tried to get the discussion to me and my achievements. I wanted to let her know I am important, very important!!

But then I started to think of that seriously, not just like a 10 year old child and I took a look at my career so far, trying to see if my steps got me to where I am because of the basic need to be important, because of chance, or even better because of a well thought plan.

I am said to be a leader. But I do wonder if I am here because I want to help and make the others shine or I am just another one that waits for the end of the day to  hear “You did a great job! The project is running because of you!”.

In the end if the project is running great and you did a great job, does it really matter what motivates you? I guess it should matter because in the end the absence of that same thing might demotivate you.

So, not hearing at the end of the day “you did a great job”, but only because you are expected to do the job, will that hurt you?

Sometimes it hurts me, when i really struggle to do a good job and I cannot tell around my problems. Imagine this stand-up if the leader would also have to speak:

What did you do yesterday: I argued with the client, he wants more functionality in the same time. I looked at planning and I saw we did major mistakes in task estimations and I need to fix this somehow. I am seriously in doubt we are doing a good job, but I need to see how I can verify this and give you a constructive feedback.  I found out one of you is going to interviews and you never shared with me you disliked something here, which kind of hurt me. I need to assess the risk on the project. I also need to get some budget to get you out to a dinner. Huraaayyyyy. I am saving the day!

What will you do today: A PLAN!

Then this gets me to even another question: do you expect your team to say “my god, you are doing a great job!”? Do you expect sometimes your team to come back and recognize your added value? If so: are you a servant leader (whatever the heck that might be) ?

I would say you’re just human 😉

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